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mustardseeds posted this
impacted
I just came back from the conference.
Few thoughts:
1) Met and bonded with my future housemate, E. It was good, thank God that we clicked so well. We stuck to each other (ok maybe that’s not very good but we both scared awkward..) and people started thinking that we were twins/best friends though we only knew each other for 2 days.. -.- She’s like Emily’s twin, making lots of funny jokes and being super cheery and caring and giving out the exact same vibe. She made a joke; I told her that my friends wanted to call me Ruth, and she said that my future boyfriend is Ruthless. =.= Anyway that’s besides the point. I like it that she’s from a similar background as me, that her church is kinda charismatic (Pentecostal I think?), that she’s pretty open in sharing her life and there’s many endless things to talk about so it wasn’t awkward between us. But I know there is definitely lots more to find out about each other, lots more that we haven’t seen and experienced about each other. There is still the initial barrier between two strangers. But I learnt from Chris, I tried to be as vulnerable as I could handle. And I think she was also, and we both responded well to each other. I hope that there won’t be any conflicts though experienced people all said that there will bound to be some. I hope that we can hold each other accountable for our faith in Christ, and not become enemies instead. Many fears of knowing a person but happy-go-lucky me just wish for the best of us to come out instead of the worst.
2) Denominations. This topic just keeps coming up. D mentioned it. Then at this conference, it came out so strongly that E and I were just talking about it most of the time. This conference, it was weird in the sense that it was so traditional! Completely blown away by how rigid everything was. Worship, prayer..no mention of the HS! And I’m now faced with the issues of choosing a church when I leave.
I thank God opened my eyes in this experience about a few things. One is that my bible knowledge is actually quite surface level. I kinda know verses, but I never go in depth about the meaning, interpretations etc. This conference made me realize that being gospel-centered is actually really important. Or else I’ll never be able to go further in my knowledge of Christ. But yet, if I join the particular church where most of the attendees were from, then I may be spiritually starved? Was telling my bro that if I do not get to speak in tongues for 4 years..Gosh I will just shrivel up inside. I love to speak in tongues. But attending the worship there…it did not really bring me into the presence of God? Is that just a feeling or..? Worship there just made me want to just return to church in S’pore and jump up and down and raise my hands and kneel and do all those all out, because there I felt quite cooped up. During praise, there should a outward and physical proclamation of our love for Christ..right? Or is it just a culture thing that I’m familiar with? Confused much.
3) I feel utterly unprepared to leave. 3 days away from home, church meeting, family and friends and I felt lonely. When I returned home and the first person I saw was mum..I felt so so happy. I missed everyone. Gosh too emotional. Starting to feel the impending time of departure.
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Yet. Thank God that He never left my side. Despite my big confusion, there’s still a peace pressing onto my whirling mind that God will see me through, all will be well. :-)
